Getting divorced is a heartbreaking experience for you and your kids. No doubt you will eventually want to reenter the realm of relationships, but there are some things you should know before you take that leap. While there are a number of self-proclaimed experts out there you should probably spend some time researching their validity.
One site that will help you, http://dateandsimple.com/the-tao-of-badass-review/, can provide reviews and advice for reentering the dating world. In fact, the review they write about there, is one man’s directives on how to get women. Sometimes it helps to know what garbage men are putting into their heads before you let them into yours.
Here are some common mistakes single mom’s make:
Waiting too Long- Everybody’s divorce ends on a different note. Based on what you may or may not have endured, the time frame in which you choose to wait to get back out there will vary. However, if you wait too long you will be in danger of having become too focused on your own ways of doing things. That makes it hard to welcome someone else into your sphere. You don’t want to become the old lady who’s too set in her ways to get a man.
Being Serious too Soon– We know that you have likely come out of a lengthy marriage. Even six years is a length of well-invested time and effort (2190 days, but who’s counting). And, the tendency would be to desire another monogamous relationship. There’s nothing wrong with that aspiration, but requiring instant commitment won’t be good for you or the man you’re seeing. Try dating several different men (preferably wholly different than your ex-husband) to see which one meets the scope and span of your relational desires. Here are some more dating tips.
Dating too Quickly- This is the exact opposite of the first issue. And, unfortunately, a number of women are guiltier of this issue than they are of the first. We are relational creatures and we want to be in loving mutual companionship. That’s a pretty tried and true statement. But, if we don’t allow ourselves to heal (because all divorces cause damage) and return to understanding ourselves, this new relationship won’t be a good one either. Recommendations abound, but allowing yourself at least a year, to move from the “we” mindset into one that allows who you are to immerge again, is highly advisable.
Having Sex- We don’t advise sex outside of marriage because there are too many additional complications (read more about the value of celibacy). In truth, we understand the desire to want that intimacy. However, women generally attach emotional bonds to those they are sexually active with. That bond could be the reason they stay in relationships that are not good for them or their children. It’s a better choice to avoid sex until remarriage. Then there are no ties that bind you to someone that could be just as problematic as your first husband.
The Kids- As if being a single woman wasn’t hard enough, we have children to add to the mix. The choices we make with the men in our lives impact them greatly. Choosing when to introduce a new boyfriend to the kids is a big deal and should never be taken lightly or jumped into too quickly. Your relationship with the new man needs to have already been through the commitment and future vision stages of discussion and agreement before you let him meet the kids.
For more advice on dating after divorce click this.