Of all the 13 million single parents in the United States, single mothers make up the majority. According to U.S. Census Bureau, more than six out of 10 of women who give birth in their early 20s are single. While being a mother is a blessing, single moms still find it quite challenging. Some of the things that make it even tougher are because of the fact that they are single and need to face all things – without help. This is the very reason why a lot of single moms are tempting to enter the dating scene. But again, entering the dating world is not easy – and even tougher for single moms – probably because single moms can accidentally make dating mistakes. If you’re a single mom and looking for new love, here are some of the pitfalls I recommend you to avoid.
- Waiting too long to date again. I know that getting back to the dating pool can be scary, especially if you’ve just been in a recent breakup or divorce. But the process would be much easier if you let yourself be seen. Sure, you need to take a bit of time to recover from your past broken relationship, but do not allow yourself be isolated for too long. The thing is that single moms tend to get overly comfortable being single, so when they decide to reenter the dating pool, it becomes a lot more complicated.
- Dating too soon. While there are no real rules as to when someone, who has been in a tough breakup, should start dating again, I recommend you to slow down. Sure, I’ve mentioned that you shouldn’t allow yourself be alone for too long, but it’s also important to not rush everything. The trick is to find the balance between rushing and waiting too long. Take the time you need to fix whatever is needed to fix; and when you feel that you’re ready to start a new life, then go ahead and meet someone else.
- Being too serious too soon. It’s true that being a single parent can be frustrating. And sometimes, it’s really tempting to rush into a relationship with someone you’ve just met because you’re so desperate to complete your family, again. But remember that instead of helping you, rushing only makes matters a lot worse. Of course, it’s okay to date after a breakup – but do not commit unless you’re truly comfortable and ready. It’s wise to get to know the person really well before you make any commitment. I know someone who ended up being hurt again because she found out that the person she was dating was already married. (The How to Find Out if Someone Is Married website is a great resource for single moms and people looking for new love.)
- Forcing it with the little ones. Of course, as much possible you want your kids to also know the person you’re dating; after all, if things go well, you will all live together under the same roof. But be reminded that introducing your kids to a new guy can be a tricky situation, especially if you’ve been in a divorce. Some children feel threatened when they see their parents dating someone else. That’s natural. But you shouldn’t ignore that. It is important to listen to your kids and consider their feelings. Experts recommend introducing your new guy when the relationship is already serious. And if, for instance, your children are disinterested in the new guy, understand and give your children the time they need to adjust.
Indeed, being a single mom is a challenging task, but that shouldn’t stop you from dating and finding new love. Go ahead, get out, meet others, and find the one who will make your heart smile!