When your relationship is in trouble, it can be hard to manage the added stress. And that means busy moms need to find a solution quickly. But doing so can seem easier said than done. So what is a mom to do? Luckily, there are a few options to help get your relationship back on track. If you aren’t sure where to start, consider starting with these tips.
Have an Honest Conversation
Often, communication is the key to repairing a troubled relationship. If something has been bothering you, then it may be wise to sit down with your significant other and have a conversation about it. While you want to be open about your thoughts and feelings, it is critical not to be accusatory. Doing so can put the other person on the defensive and may hinder any efforts to find a resolution.
You need to make sure that you don’t make the conversation all about you as well. Give your partner an opportunity to speak and discuss any concerns they may have. If they have been holding back negative feelings, then make sure you give them a chance to express their thoughts as well. The conversation only works if you take at least as much time listening as you do talking. Otherwise, the effort is completely one-sided and may not lead to a resolution.
Work with a Professional
If the idea of starting a conversation makes you uncomfortable, then it may be wise to enlist the help of a professional. Depending on your goals, you may look into emotionally focused therapy. Often, this approach is designed to help couples work through short-term issues. It provides a safe place for conversations to take place and allows you to work with an impartial third party who may see the situation more clearly than you or your significant other can.
For more long-term issues, couples counseling may need to be combined with individual counseling sessions. Certain issues stem from personal troubles that may require separate treatment. This can be especially true if the topics are sensitive in nature and you want a completely secure place to work past things.
If your partner wishes to obtain private counseling, it is important to respect their privacy regarding what is discussed. Over time, they may feel more confident in discussing the topics with you, but forcing the issue may make relationship problems more prominent. Similarly, ask them to respect your privacy until you are ready to share.
Don’t Put Your Children in the Middle
Sometimes, when couples fight, the children end up in the middle. This can be an intentional act by other party or an unintentional side effect. When managing your issues as a couple, try not to expose the children to fighting, and never talk badly about your partner in front of the kids.
You also want to make sure they know that the situation isn’t their fault and that both of their parents love and care for them. While it can be hard to step away from the problem to reassure your children, it can save them from a lot of anxiety. And, if they need someone safe to talk to, then it might be appropriate to set them up with a counselor as well. If you do go that route, you need to respect their privacy as well. The important thing is to help them through the situation, and that may require you to step back while they work through their feelings.