You never thought that time would pass by so fast but now you are the mother of the bride and you are a bit lost about the things that you should do. Wedding planning as you know is not only a big deal for the couple who is about to get married. It is a big deal for you as well. You should know your place as a mother. You cannot go overboard and do the planning on your own because it is not your wedding.
You should at least know what issues you should talk about with the couple beforehand. For example, you should talk about money. It is common that the family of the couple will contribute a certain amount of money for the wedding. The couple will still shell out a bit of money but make sure that you will at least offer to finance some of the things that they need for the wedding. It can be your gift to your daughter and to her future husband.
Other issues that you should pay attention to are the following:
- Make sure that you know your part in the wedding.
It is only common that your daughter will ask for your opinion about the different aspects of the wedding but do not expect that you are going to make the decision on your own. You can give suggestions but the decisions will still be up to the couple. Do not feel bad if they do not go with what you have suggested.
- Find the right clothing to wear.
You are not just one of the guests when it comes to your daughter’s wedding. You need to follow some tips so that you will truly look like the mother of the bride. First, follow the theme and the formality of the wedding. You may need to purchase new clothes and shoes if you do not have anything that fits. You may also need to get in touch with the mother of the groom if you have to coordinate your outfits. You can always ask your daughter what type of clothing you should wear.
You may be tempted to invite all of your relatives and some of your friends because you are proud of your daughter and you would like to show her off but it will not be practical and besides, your daughter and her husband-to-be should be in charge of making the guest list. Once again, you can give suggestions but you cannot expect them to do exactly what you have stated.
- Be of help whenever you are needed.
There will be days when your daughter would need help. This is the time when you can be available. If you have to contact the florist or if you want to find some wedding photographers like Northampton Wedding Photographers, you can make a short list and give it to your daughter so she can decide on her own.
Remember that as a mother, what you can do is to help relieve the stress of planning the wedding. You are not supposed to make it more stressful for your daughter because this is one of the most important days of her life.
Weddings can be tough on moms. You feel super excited that your daughter is going to be starting a new life and about the wedding in general and there are always worries and that competitive feeling about the new mother in law. But you don’t want to intrude or overstep boundaries since you probably know exactly what it feels like when someone else had more say in your wedding than you did. There is a fine line between advice and trying to force someone to do something they don’t want to do and as a mom, it is your job to make sure that your daughter understands that what you are giving is advice and that she is free to still make her own decisions.
Advice on the dress
Yes, your daughter has her own unique taste when it comes to wedding dresses but you are still allowed to give her some advice on the dress, just in case she overlooked something. Lace wedding gowns, for instance, is associated with vintage weddings and recently made a huge comeback and is definitely the in thing right now because brides look much more delicate and feminine in these gorgeous dresses. If you want your daughter to look like a delicate flower then show her a few lace dresses. If she is still not interested, then there are still plenty of beautiful dresses out there to choose from.
Help make some invitations
No, you can’t choose the wedding invitations for her. She will eventually resent you for it and don’t mention the traditional way of wording the wedding invitations to her. But if your daughter is going to make her own wedding invitations then your help with tying ribbons and cutting papers will be greatly appreciated, and so will some of that hot chocolate that you are so great at making.
Bake the wedding favors
You probably can’t bake the cake unless you are an expert in wedding cakes but wedding favors like sugar cookies or candy bars is something that you probably can do for your daughter. It could be a great wedding gift or you can simply help her save some money on this expensive venture.
Look for venue locations
It is easy to overlook a grand and affordable wedding location so why not help your daughter out a bit by composing a long and detailed list with quotes on all the available venues from which she can choose.
Seek out photographers
Getting quotes and contact details of multiple photographers can be a great help to your daughter if she has to balance work and wedding planning.
One of the biggest things you as a mom can do for your daughter is to give her support. Tell her she will be beautiful and that the choices she made is perfect and gorgeous even if you don’t agree with all of them. It is after all her wedding and in the end, the feel and vibe of the wedding counts for much more than the small details.
Wedding planning isn’t just an important event for the bride and groom, but for their moms as well. In fact, moms are probably more excited than the couple as they are likely more dreaming of their daughter or son’s wedding day longer that they have. However, with things becoming more modern these days, children are getting more independent, wanting to lead the planning of everything in their life, especially their own wedding. As a result, the role of moms falls into a more of a supportive role.
If you’re one of those moms, don’t worry as there are a lot of ways to help your children plan for their wedding without taking too much control of the process. Here’s how to do just that:
- Be the contact with the vendors. As the mother, you probably have attended a lot of weddings in the past. That means you’re aware about the ins and outs of the planning process and probably know where to find the right wedding team to ensure that your daughter or son’s wedding goes off without a hitch. Contact all the wedding vendors you know (bakers, photographers, videographers, and florists) as well as friends who can point you to the best wedding teams in town.
- Assist with the guest list. With all the tasks that come along with planning a wedding, creating the guest list is probably one of the hardest and most time-consuming. Lift some load off your son or daughter’s shoulder by helping in creating the right guest list. Since you’re the mother, you’re the one who’s “in the know.” You know how many kids does aunt Maya have now; if Mr. and Mrs. Adams are already divorced; if cousin Sheila already got married; or if uncle Tom is still alive. You also know how to spell their names with correct titles or terms of respect.
- Help with the invitations. In addition to creating the guest list, volunteer to help the couple choose their wedding invitation, put address on it for RSVP, and mail them. Also offer help for keeping track of the responses – sending responses when guests send back their response cards and/or following up with those who have not yet responded.
- Provide dress shopping support. If you’re the mother of the bride, be there when she’s choosing her wedding dress. The last thing that brides-to-be want to do is to go dress shopping alone! Even though your daughter knows what she wants for a dress, she’ll still need your advice when it comes to choosing the right one. In addition to the dress, you would also want to help her get the perfect headband, veil, tiara, and jewelry that match her dress.
- Help find the right venue. It takes a lot of research and phone calls to find that perfect venue for the wedding. And with all the many things that the bride and groom must worry about, they wouldn’t want to spend most of their wedding planning days in searching for the right wedding place. To lighten their load, volunteer to help them with contacting venues and finding all the necessary details they need to make the selection process much easier.
- Participate in planning the party. If you’re creative enough, participate in choosing the wedding decorations, wedding theme, party essentials, including flowers, event lighting, table cloths, burlap table runner, menu plans, and party favors, as well as other things to make the venue more amazing and the wedding unforgettable. If you run out of ideas, you can visit craftyweddingdecor.com website for design tips and other ideas.